Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Toothless
Good Times With Titan
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Crazy Teeth
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Punch Captain Crunch
Friday, September 7, 2012
Happy Birthday... Sheri and Brandi
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
It All Went Wrong...
This is the picture of Chase's first day of school at Payne Jr. High. He was so excited (I was a nervous wreck). Just a few days before we had gone to Payne and got his schedule and his classes. We walked the halls and found where each class was so that he would know his way around the campus before the first day. We saw many of his friends from church and school that day. He was excited (me... not so much). He was so happy to embark on this new experience called JUNIOR HIGH. As for me, I vividly remember Junior High... it is a time of conflicting emotions and hormones and teenage angst. But, I was determined to put on a brave face for my boy who was so excited. For months leading up to the first day, he told me he wanted to ride the bus to/from school. I did not want him to and I was more than happy and willing to take/pick him up. ****All my kids have gone to a school with no buses so I took/picked up everyday and carpooled. In general, I am not a bus mom. I enjoy taking them to school.... it is just what I like to do. Well, the first day rolls around and he is so excited. Excited for the new adventure and excited that school did not start until 9am. He also decided (much to my happiness) that I could take/pick him up from school. He went that first day and I picked him up. I could tell that the day was not as "GLORIOUS" as he had expected but I already knew that was going to happen. I am pretty sure that all the 7th graders that day had the same "disappointment". It is hard to go to a new school, new situation, new teachers, switching for every class, lunch, finding your friends, keeping track of everything, trying not to get lost, getting use to the new rules, dealing with the 8th graders, dealing with hormones and emotions and just plain yucky teenager stuff. I will also have to say that the elementary school my kids go to "shelters" them a bit more and that is why I like it. But, I think Chase was shocked at the level of behavior and language that went on at the Junior High. Anyway, he was still excited and happy to be experiencing this new adventures. He had friends that were in 7th and 8th grade (however, none of them had his lunch). I would ask him everyday how things were and if he was making friends with the kids that were in his lunch. He would say things were fine and seemed to be adjusting to this new "part of life." He even went to the school's (after school dance) and had a lot of fun. About 7 weeks into school we got a call from one of his teachers that Chase had not turned in some assignments. This was shocking to us not only because he is so responsible and up until that point would have NEVER even showed up to school if all his homework was not completed. Not only that.... the assignments that she referred to were assignments that I knew he had done and I had helped him with!!!!! This ended up being the beginning of the end of Chase's time at Payne. After talking with Chase about this it opened the floodgates! There were many things going on that we did not know about. There was a particular student at the school that was making life terrible for Chase. He was a bully, he was mean and above all he was making my child sabotage himself. He took my son's confidence away in a matter of 7 weeks. All I can say is... I have never been so heartbroken, devastated, sad, angry, frustrated, upset........ From that moment on I did not send Chase back to Payne and began to look into other alternatives for my sweet, good, kind boy. We had many amazing heart to heart talks about lots of things and at that moment there was nothing that mattered more than getting my boy back to where he was. I had to rebuild the past 12 years for my amazing son that another kid managed to destroy in 7 weeks. I thought and prayed A LOT about what to do. In the end the answer that Brian, myself and Chase came to was to change schools and go to ALA where he could be with his cousins and back in a school that placed a lot of emphasis on the kids who make the good choices and exhibit good behavior. The kids that don't make the good choices are asked to leave. There is very little tolerance at this school for any kind of meanness and everyone is expected to treat each other with respect. It is much easier to monitor this at ALA because there are not as many students. In fact, the 7th grade only has about 42 students... TOTAL. There are 2 main teachers for the 7th graders and then they have a music teacher, PE teacher, Spanish teacher and electives teacher. Chase was able to get into Mrs. Braaksma's class and Kaden was in that class too. WoW! I could not have hoped for anything better for my boy. This school has done wonders for him. Really, in a matter of a couple of weeks I felt like my boy was coming back. He felt like others around him were trying to do what was right and the levels of behavior were very drastic than in the public school setting. (Chase said at lunch at PJH kids were cussing all the time, talking terribly about others and being very disrespectful to teachers as well as other students). At ALA these are not tolerated in the slightest and if you don't know how to behave.... you are kicked out. Plain and simple. A couple of months after Chase was going there 2 kids from his class were expelled from the school and their offenses were no where near what had happened to Chase The boy that did these things to Chase was just sent on his merry way at Payne. It is reassuring to know that ALA has a lot more control of how they punish the kids who don't want to obey the rules and that are unkind to others. When we switched schools we did go in and talk to the principal at Payne and Brian and I both really liked him. He was a nice man and gave some good advice. I felt bad that he really does not have as much control of removing kids from the school system... public system. I have realized that I personally do not like the public system... too much red tape and crowded class rooms and tons of students. I say this as MY OPINION only. This is what works better for me and my family. I like having a uniform dress code, small class sizes, zero tolerance and an environment where the teachers know my child and he is rewarded for being a great leader, friend, student and person.
Another thing that came from this experience was that the first Sunday after this happened it just happened to be Fast Sunday. Chase had said he was going to do an all day fast. They had a lesson in Deacons a few weeks before about how an all day fast could really help someone who had some hard decisions to make or was going through a hard time. The fast would help them feel closer to the spirit and give answers to prayers that may not come any other way. Wow, I was so proud of Chase! He in only 12 and just starting to navigate his way through having some hard times and finding the ways that can help him make these big decisions. He started that Sunday with such a positive attitude (which is nothing short of a miracle for a starving, growing boy on fast sunday). He fasted all day. Later that day our ward had a "break the fast fireside" at the Bishop's house. Chase and I loaded up to go to the fireside and I was so grateful and full of admoration to have such an awesome son. We got through the fireside and we both felt so good about our decision to change schools. Chase then started at ALA.
2 days later.... 2 days later.... 48 hours later.... 48 hours later.... It all went wrong AGAIN.
Chase was BEYOND EXCITED for his mutual activity that was on Tuesday night. He was pumped.... I drove him to his leaders house for what was suppose to be a fun game/movie night! I dropped him off and then went off to my activity with the Young Women. We had actually started our activity earlier that night so I ended up getting home around 7:30pm. Close to 8:30pm I texted Chase to see if he could get a ride with his leader that lived in our neighborhood. Chase texted me back immediately and said... "Mom, can you just please come and get me, I need to talk to you?" That was all it took. I knew in those words that something had happened and it was not going to be good. I jumped in my car and headed over. I texted Chase to let him know I was there and he came out to the car and then burst into tears. I finally got him to tell me what had happened and let's just say..... the Mama Bear was loose! I jumped out of the car... in my pajamas and clearisil face and marched right up to the house where the activity was and talked to Chase's leader. During the activity a certain boy in our ward had gotten Chase on the ground and repeatedly punched him in the head. Chase is not a little shrimp.... he is a big kid and could have easily gone toe to toe with him. However, it is not in Chase's personality to be unkind or physically aggressive and hurtful to anyone. I thought it was mighty brave of this kid to even try this with Chase as he could have gotten pummeled! Anyway, this incident created a whole new set of issues that we are still dealing with..... Unfortunately, in a ward you can only do so much and the feelings and emotions can sometimes be stiffeled due to hurting any feelings or offending. I did however tell Chase's leaders that if ANYTHING like this happened EVER again... I was going to call the police... plain and simple. Even if it was at an activity or at church. Chase had already been thru so so much and this just really destroyed so many things that we had been actively building back up. After the physical incident we also found out that this same kid had been verbally bullying Chase at church as well. So, all this was so traumatizing and emotionally draining to me I could not stand it. I did end up meeting with the Bishop and talking with some of his leaders because it was bad..... really bad and I was not sure where we were going to go from there. I mean... there is no other place that I want my child to be on Sundays and Tuesdays but, when he feels that he is degraded and put down and feels terrible about himself I have a hard time sending him there. And, he was "getting sick" a lot. Every Sunday and Tuesday night he "felt sick". I don't doubt that he was sick... I think these anxieties were making him sick. I was also afraid that he would just get fed up and do what his Dad and uncles and even the Payne principal said to do..... "PUNCH THE BULLY IN THE FACE... that usually stops the bullying." Nice... typical male advice. I was still trying to preserve the kindness and niceness that was just part of his nature. Also during this time there were campouts that he needed to be on where this other individual would be as well. I will be honest.... there were a few I did not send him on because MY ANXIETY was thru the roof. Sadly to say I think these are things that Chase will not forget... I know that I won't. I can only hope and pray that these situations make him a better, stronger more righteous person. (A little more to add to this story.... a few months after this incident with Chase this same boy bullied another boy at Payne and he and some of his friends got into a huge fight at the school which led to him being suspended for many days.) I also want to note that I did not even type all this out until January 2013. I have felt very raw still during all of this and problems from this still come up from time to time. I have changed in many ways. I know that no matter what I will protect my children. I don't mean to protect them from everything in this world BUT, I will do whatever it takes to help my children thru this life. I will make hard choices and I will not do what is easy or under the guise of ... what will everyone think! NO WAY... I will do hard things because it is what is right. If that means I have to set up special campouts so that my son will have enough of them to get his Eagle I will do it. If I have to get up at 6am to get my son to the bus by 6:45 am everyday... I will do it! When he switched to ALA he had to be on the bus by 6:45 am to get him to school at 7:30am. School starts at 8:00am. I have never heard him complain about this... not ONE TIME. And, I would normally not have him ride the bus however, the younger kids also start school at little after 8am. It would be very difficult to get him to his school and get the other kids ready and to school all at the same time. We even have to pay for the bus at ALA. None of that matters. This school loves my child and he loves it right back!
Things are getting better. They are..... my son is strong and he has such a good heart. He is faithful and I know that he will come out of this stronger and better! I know it! I love him so much and while I still get physically sick when I think of how these events unfolded I can't help but think that our loving Heavenly Father has been with him every step of the way. He knows my son even better than I do. He knows how to help him even better than I do. He knows all of us and I believe that he can help all of us get through this and come out better in the end. I know this.
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